Who do I dance with?

By Michelle Makaipo, Manoa

In Social dancing the man's role is very different than the lady's role. However no one in Universal dancing owns anyone else. Each person can and will speak for themselves.

"God has not called us to see through each other,

but to see each other through."

The man asks politely and must be careful of who he asks. The woman can accept or decline politely. She has the additional option of giving a reason for the decline but it is not absolutely necessary. If she declines and then accepts another man, then she has conveyed her reason adequately and the man should never bother her again.

For that same reason, a man must never ask a woman who is with another man, whatever the relationship. Unless he is good friends with both. If the man is dancing with someone else it gives you the opportunity to ask. With these few rules, the man can enjoy a nice evening dancing.

"I'll Never Fall In Love Again" by Dionne Warwick

Today it is theoretically fine for a woman to ask a man for a dance. In practice, few women take full advantage of this. Except with men they are on a very friendly basis.

But it seems a little unreasonable to hear a woman who has asked no one all evening to dance, complain that she has had few dances. If some women are happy to ask, and others not so confident, then those that lose out will be the shy.

To make it easier for ladies who are uneasy about asking, those men who are asked should be gracious about accepting. Always appear to be glad to be asked. By and large, it is bad form to refuse a request for a dance.

People should be happy to dance with anyone once in an evening. Similarly, if you ask a person to dance, then discover that your partner is not enjoying the partnership, or is much better than you are, then it is a bit much to keep asking again. Each dancer has only so much time and energy in an evening for dancing, and at a dance of any great size, there will be more partners present than can be danced with more than once.