Steps to Building Self-Confidence

Building self-confidence is a continuous process which needs determination and effort. Here are some tips to think about when you're trying to build yours:

1. Take it one step at a time: Think about where you are right now, how far you've come and give yourself some credit for trying. Think about what is important to you, where you want to go, what gives your life meaning, and what your values are. Confidence starts with a strong foundation based on individualistic values and passions that help the common good.
2. Make sure your values are in congruent with your lifestyle: If there is a discrepancy between your values and the way you behave, this can create internal conflict and smash you up. Make sure you check the two and bring them to work together in harmony.
3. Living, believing and behaving in moderation: Start modifying your thought, your behavior and your lifestyle to match what you want and the way you want to be.

4. Self monitor, cognitively and behaviorally: Rational positive thinking is the key to this one. By focusing on what is working, you can make better progress on what is not and make the necessary changes. Activate your positive emotions and discharge the negative ones. Make sure you spend a few minutes every day focusing and reflecting on your progress and what you want to change.

5. Start helping others the way you can: Doing good for others does not have a specific formula. Not all of us have to be a hero in the public eye. Find your own way of helping others. What comes from your heart and core, with a pure intention of helping and giving just to be thankful for the things you already have and without any expectations in return. What you get is an internal joy that is blissful and helps build a self of self-worth.
6. Build on your skills and learn new things: Learn new skills and strengthen the ones you already have.
7. Surround yourself with well-intended, honest, aware, and positive people: Be open to productive feedback from people whose judgment you trust and be selective about whom you get close to. Don't invite negativity, drama and ignorance to your life and have clear boundaries for protecting your heart and mind.

8. Be true to yourself: Don't sell your integrity for anything. Don't self-betray by following someone else's path or believing something that does not sink in your intuitive heart and your logical mind. Learn to be yourself and be thirsty for knowledge, learn to become objective and then do what you feel is right not what others tell you "should" be. And make sure you activate your build-in integrity.

9. Take reasonable risks: While being grounded and reasonably careful are a part of a healthy life style, but to build self confidence, one must be willing to take some risks and experience new things, learn from them and move forward.

10. Accept other people's love and support openly and fully. Try to stop that little paranoid person inside of you who wants to read too much into an act of love and just take it with an open heart. Also, be willing to give love and show how you feel in healthy and positive ways.

People who are self-confident are more efficient and productive in their daily lives. They contribute more and have less negative effects on their surroundings. They accept challenges with an open arm and are more persistence and resistant. They don't spend much time on complaining but fixing. They are great communicators and have healthier relationships. At the end, this is a skill that everyone can learn, it is not limited to a few but all. It just needs practice.

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10 Ways to Instantly Build Self Confidence

Build Self Confidence



1. Dress Sharp



Although clothes don’t make the man, they certainly affect the way he feels about himself. No one is more conscious of your physical appearance than you are. When you don’t look good, it changes the way you carry yourself and interact with other people. Use this to your advantage by taking care of your personal appearance. In most cases, significant improvements can be made by bathing and shaving frequently, wearing clean clothes, and being cognizant of the latest styles.



This doesn’t mean you need to spend a lot on clothes. One great rule to follow is “spend twice as much, buy half as much”. Rather than buying a bunch of cheap clothes, buy half as many select, high quality items. In long run this decreases spending because expensive clothes wear out less easily and stay in style longer than cheap clothes. Buying less also helps reduce the clutter in your closet.

2. Walk Faster



One of the easiest ways to tell how a person feels about herself is to examine her walk. Is it slow? tired? painful? Or is it energetic and purposeful? People with confidence walk quickly. They have places to go, people to see, and important work to do. Even if you aren’t in a hurry, you can increase your self confidence by putting some pep in your step. Walking 25% faster will make to you look and feel more important.



3. Good Posture



Similarly, the way a person carries herself tells a story. People with slumped shoulders and lethargic movements display a lack of self confidence. They aren’t enthusiastic about what they’re doing and they don’t consider themselves important. By practicing good posture, you’ll automatically feel more confident. Stand up straight, keep your head up, and make eye contact. You’ll make a positive impression on others and instantly feel more alert and empowered.

4. Personal Commercial



One of the best ways to build confidence is listening to a motivational speech. Unfortunately, opportunities to listen to a great speaker are few and far between. You can fill this need by creating a personal commercial. Write a 30-60 second speech that highlights your strengths and goals. Then recite it in front of the mirror aloud (or inside your head if you prefer) whenever you need a confidence boost.



5. Gratitude



When you focus too much on what you want, the mind creates reasons why you can’t have it. This leads you to dwell on your weaknesses. The best way to avoid this is consciously focusing on gratitude. Set aside time each day to mentally list everything you have to be grateful for. Recall your past successes, unique skills, loving relationships, and positive momentum. You’ll be amazed how much you have going for you and motivated to take that next step towards success.



6. Compliment other people



When we think negatively about ourselves, we often project that feeling on to others in the form of insults and gossip. To break this cycle of negativity, get in the habit of praising other people. Refuse to engage in backstabbing gossip and make an effort to compliment those around you. In the process, you’ll become well liked and build self confidence. By looking for the best in others, you indirectly bring out the best in yourself.



7. Sit in the front row



In schools, offices, and public assemblies around the world, people constantly strive to sit at the back of the room. Most people prefer the back because they’re afraid of being noticed. This reflects a lack of self confidence. By deciding to sit in the front row, you can get over this irrational fear and build your self confidence. You’ll also be more visible to the important people talking from the front of the room.



8. Speak up



During group discussions many people never speak up because they’re afraid that people will judge them for saying something stupid. This fear isn’t really justified. Generally, people are much more accepting than we imagine. In fact most people are dealing with the exact same fears. By making an effort to speak up at least once in every group discussion, you’ll become a better public speaker, more confident in your own thoughts, and recognized as a leader by your peers.



9. Work out



Along the same lines as personal appearance, physical fitness has a huge effect on self confidence. If you’re out of shape, you’ll feel insecure, unattractive, and less energetic. By working out, you improve your physcial appearance, energize yourself, and accomplish something positive. Having the discipline to work out not only makes you feel better, it creates positive momentum that you can build on the rest of the day.



10. Focus on contribution



Too often we get caught up in our own desires. We focus too much on ourselves and not enough on the needs of other people. If you stop thinking about yourself and concentrate on the contribution you’re making to the rest of the world, you won’t worry as much about you own flaws. This will increase self confidence and allow you to contribute with maximum efficiency. The more you contribute to the world the more you’ll be rewarded with personal success and recognition.



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10 Secrets for Instant Self-Confidence

1. Smile
The one-second tip for when you’re feeling nervous and unconfident is simply to smile! You don’t just smile because you are happy and confident – you can smile to make yourself feel better. The act of smiling is so strongly associated with positive feelings that it’s almost impossible to feel bad while smiling.

2. Make eye contact

As well as smiling, meet the eyes of other people in the room. Give them your smile; you’ll almost certainly get one back, and being smiled at is a great self-confidence boost. Like smiling, eye contact shows people that you’re confident. Staring at your shoes or at the table reinforces your feelings of self-doubt and shyness.
3. Change your inner voice

Most of us have a critical inner voice that tells us we’re stupid, not good enough, that we’re too fat, thin, loud, quiet… Being able to change that inner voice is key to feeling self-confident on the inside, which will help you project your confidence to the world. Make your inner voice a supportive friend who knows you fully but also recognizes your talents and gifts, and wants you to make the best of yourself.

4. Forget other people’s standards

Whatever the situation that’s causing you a crisis of self-confidence, you can help yourself immeasurably by holding yourself to your own standards alone. Other people have different values from you, and however hard you try, you’ll never please everyone all of the time. Don’t worry that people will think you’re too overweight, underweight, too feckless, too boring, too frugal, too frivolous … hold yourself to your standards, not some imagined standards belonging to others. And remember that commonly-held values and standards vary from society to society: you don’t have to accept them just because the people around you do.

5. Make the most of your appearance

Even if you’ve only got a minute or two, duck into the bathroom to make sure you’re looking your best. Brushing your hair, giving your face a good wash, retouching your makeup, straightening your collar, checking you’ve not got a bit of parsley stuck between your teeth … all of these can make the difference between feeling confident in your physical appearance and feeling anxious about an imagined flaw.

6. Pray or meditate briefly

If you believe in a higher power, whether God, or another spiritual force, it can be a real boost to self-confidence to say a silent prayer. (You could also meditate instead of praying.) This helps you to take a step back from your immediate situation, to see the wider picture and to seek help from something or someone greater than yourself. This is a Christian prayer, but you could write something similar that fits your own religious beliefs or spiritual tradition:

7. Reframe

If something unexpected happens, it’s easy to let it knock your fledgling self-confidence. Perhaps you spill your drink on someone, you arrive late for the big meeting because of traffic problems, or someone who you wanted to speak to gives you a cold brush-off. Try to “reframe” the situation; put it in the best possible light: often, events are only negative because of the meaning we attach to them.

8. Find the next step

Keep your self-confidence up by taking gradual steps forwards, rather than freezing when faced with what seems like a giant leap. If you’re not sure what to do, look for one simple step that you can take to make progress. That might mean making eye contact at a party, introducing yourself to a stranger, breaking the ice in a meeting, or asking a question of your interviewers that shows your knowledge of their industry and company.
9. Speak slowly

An easy tip for both seeming and being more self-confidence is to speak slowly. If you gabble, you’ll end up feeling worse as you know you’re being unclear to your audience or to the person you’re in a conversation with. Speaking slowly gives you the chance to think about what you’re going to say next. If you’re giving a talk or presentation, pause at the end of phrases and sentences to help your audience take in what you’ve said.

10. Contribute something

Have you ever sat through an entire class at college or meeting at work without saying a word? Have you had an evening out where friends chatted happily while you sat and stared silently at your drink? Chances are, you weren’t feeling very self-confident at the time – and you probably felt even worse afterwards. Whatever the situation you’re in, make an effort to contribute. Even if you don’t think you have much to say, your thoughts and perspective are valuable to those around you.

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Building Self Confidence

1.Full trust; belief in the powers, trustworthiness, or reliability of a person or thing: We have every confidence in their ability to succeed.

2.Belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance: His lack of confidence defeated him.

3.Certitude; assurance: He described the situation with such confidence that the audience believed him completely.

How often do you second guess yourself or lack confidence. Do you easily put full trust in someone else; your mother, husband, teacher or doctor but find it difficult to trust yourself? I love the third definition from above "assurance" what a wonderfully strong characteristic, do you desire it? If you think that you lack confidence, and you probably do because most people do, then I offer a couple suggestions that will direct your attention to building a foundation of confidence in yourself.

Perhaps you are unsure if you lack confidence, if so ask yourself a couple of question to determine your confidence level and the areas where you are submissive and lack trust in yourself.

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