Black Friday Now? Make That Never

At 5 a.m. this Friday, I was not to be found at any department store. I was sleeping "like a baby, endlessly rocking, gone from this world of cares," as Keith Donohue eloquently stated in his novel Angels of Destruction. I was not online after eating apple crisp Thanksgiving Day looking for deals on electronics, jewelry or apparel. An NBC News piece showed how you can take your over-priced gadget to the store and shop for even higher priced gadgets to get the best "deal." Even amid the Great Recession, upgrading from what we already have seems to be a national obsession.

Was Lucy on A Charlie Brown Christmas right - is Christmas run by a big Eastern syndicate?

Instead of running around a mall, I'm supporting the economy by....

Patronizing main street, independent restaurants, like Chapala Grill, in Bergenfield, New Jersey, which I picked to try for a belated birthday dinner my friend treated me to.

Feasting on vegetarian fajitas, $11.95, and a pineapple margarita, $6. We also took advantage of a 15% off coupon for the food items in the mail.

Giving business to the town cinema (this one in Westwood, New Jersey), which supplies jobs to local youths. In good times and bad, movies make a fun escape for all ages. Harry Potter: loved!

Donating to and shopping at charitable thrift shops (find one through ThriftShopper.com). While dropping off donations at a thrift shop of Housing Works, which helps homeless HIV-positive New Yorkers access medical services, housing, and employment, I picked up a brand new copy of Little House on the Prairie, a 6-disk season 1, for $18. I'll pass this on to a relative who so cherishes this show (as do I), not as a Christmas gift, but simply, "I saw this and thought of you at once gift."


Supporting animal friendly establishments, like New York City's all-vegan Blossom Cafe, where I dined after the Macy's Parade balloon inflation viewing.

Their seitan marsala: sautéed kale, roasted fennel, Yukon gold mash, mushrooms, and pan sauce, $21. A humane version of a dish more associated with chicken or veal. I shared the dish to off-set the high (for me) price of the entree.

I also shared their chocolate cake, $6: always a winner.

Supporting local food drives, like the one at my church. Find a local food bank through Feeding America. In Northern New Jersey, donate to the Center for Food Action.


Buying a charitable gift for a child in need. My church has an "Operation Santa Claus" program where you can purchase a gift (two gift suggestions are offered). I will be hitting Target to pick up the gift card that was requested - but to me, this is what holiday shopping is about - charity and children.

I also plan on attending a Colonial Christmas concert at the Bergen County Historical Society; purchasing Sting's If on a Winter's Night cd at an independent, main street record shop; having a tea party to celebrate the winter solistice, and will mail checks to any of my favorite charitites I haven't yet given to this year.

Depriving the economy by not shopping till I drop at the mall? I don't think so.

Fashion Whys?

* Why do so many people buy (literally and figuratively) into "they" (who are they?) telling us what the "must haves" are this season and we should purchase the latest "trend" (but don't wear it next year, you'll be out of style!) If something is a "must have" perhaps "they" should send us all one - for free.
* Why should we drool over and purchase expensive fashion way beyond our means. No matter how much I love an article of clothing, I'll inevitably tire of it or no longer fit into it and pass it on. How many $100 skirts and tops did I used to buy at Anthropologie, seduced by catalogues of women basking in a French farmhouse or in a field? How I wish I had the cash instead. Those purchases were frivolous looking back, not a "splurge" or "treating myself" - my old way of thinking.
* Similarly, that if a celebrity is wearing something, you should go out and get it too. I hear all the time in the vegan community that an expensive coat or shoes have been worn by vegans such as Emily Deschanel, Alicia Silverstone and Natalie Portman so we should be coveting them. I understand the marketing value in our celebrity obsessed culture, however, I DO NOT have their bank account, nor do the majority of women.
* Why do we think that just because something markets itself as "eco-friendly" it must be. Are "natural" food products all really "natural?" A colleague who works in marketing expressed his view that Americans cannot tie themselves to a social movement (we were talking about the environmental cause) unless consumerism is attached. We definitely want to support companies that reflect our values, but we need to do our homework or it's buyer beware.
For instance, bamboo is still regularly promoted on environmentally minded blogs, but the FTC has issued numerous advisories on it (such as this one).
* Why should people interested incorporating veganism more into their life get rid of perfectly good non-vegan items in their closets that were purchased before becoming interested in animal welfare? I still have non-vegan items in my household I bought years ago, and use them unapologetically. I will even acquire non-vegan items second hand through swaps and thrift. I don't let any activist shame me for my decisions or let them try to micromanage my life.
*Why does the label affixed to the clothing or accessory have such an impact on how we view it? How much of it is psychological? Recall the I Love Lucy story of Lucy, Ethel and those "Jacques Marcel" dresses. While browsing at a consignment shop, two women were shopping and one announced the label of every item of clothing she picked up from the rack. Even once declaring, "Made in Italy!"

One major source of clothing for me now: seasonal clothing swaps I co-organize with two lovely co-workers. Leftovers went to charitable thrift shops, including New York City's Housing Works, and the C.A.T.S. Resale Shop in Weswood, New Jersey.

We provide light refreshments during the lunch hour swaps from wallet and vegan-friendly Trader Joe's. For fall: olive hummus and reduced guilt pita chips; pomegranate sparkling cider and spiced apple cider, maple leaf and snickerdoodle cookies, and apples.

Here are some of my finds.

I recently saw vegan sweaters touted on a popular vegan fashion blog. The cheapest one: $150. My "new" Heather B vegan sweater for fall/winter, free.


A cotton Old Navy skirt. Loved the autumn-inspired leaf pattern, and the whimsical pink trim.

The cheerful polka-dot shoes from Nine West, never worn; a black cotton cardigan, American Eagle Outfitters, and a Janette John 3:16 cotton dress that someone brought back from the last swap since it didn't fit her. I'm wearing the dress in fall with boots, leggings and a cardigan, and will pair it with ballet flats in spring and summer.

Lest you think I'm immune to the label lunacy: I confess this story to be true. This top was put out as a "preview" item early the day of the swap to advertise. No one claimed it before or during the swap, until my coworker who brought it in said, "You should take it, it's from Anthropologie." Suddenly, it was more attractive. I did take it, and have worn it with a long sleeve white Banana Republic swap shirt underneath. It goes perfectly with my Old Navy skirt.

Consider hosting a swap of your own for frugal fun everyone can enjoy in today's economic climate. Swap with friends, co-workers, family members - anyone! Include beauty products, gift items like candles and frames, and accessories so everyone can find something if there's an excess of one size. Donate the leftovers to a charitable shop (find one through TheThriftShopper.com).

This female blogger's "in's": financial empowerment, embracing your own sense of style, a closet (and household) filled with only items you truly are using and love, and independent thinking. Out: uniform thinking, living beyond our means, trends and "must have's."